What Were We Thinking?

PBn
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Applebees

PBn & EnchantedBlade
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My Chihuahua has PTSD

PBn

My Chihuahua has PTSD.

That is why she shakes and shivers, why her nose snuffles and eyes water. It’s
why she occasionally emits a slow, sad sound that seems to come from no
localized part of her small body but rather from the drifting miss-alignment
of every piece of her soul.

Mr. Snake-in-a-Tophat her once favorite toy, a green rope jingle toy of
Chihuahua appropriate proportions, that would once summon her skidding around
corners at it’s first tinkling of movement. Now holds no more interest than a
wisp of intense as she stares straight through it and out the other side of the
world. She will not eat nor drink despite my desperate urgings and has lost
sixteen ounces in the last week and a half. At peak weight just shy of four
pounds the missing ounces carve Valleys in her increasingly frail body. I fear
how long she can go on like this.

I of course at first assumed this was some nefarious worm or bottle cap playing
saboteur with the delicate valves and tubes of my Chihuahua’s insides. So I had
rushed my un-objecting pup to the veterinarian. Who struggled to find anything
wrong with her. X-rays and blood tests and pills not so much swallowed as
prodded down my Chihuahua’s throat. Left the vet as stumped as I about the
source of this stupor.

“There is nothing more modern dog-science can do” said the vet,
as a bridge to the unthinkable.

It’s important to point out my Chihuahua is far from a weak willed dog. When my
first dog had suffered months of deteriorating health and daily seizures
my Chihuahua comforted both him and me, watching her best friend vanish and her
master suffer this small dog lead me up from the darkness of that shallow hole
in the back yard. So when this vet suggested putting my Chihuahua to sleep, I
responded poorly. Lets leave it at that.

However as these days drag on I begin to suspect it my have been a mercy.
For something 100 miles inside of this small dog seems broken. The labored
breathing and flashes of unprovoked fear in the small eyes tell me she’s still
in there somewhere. Her mind rattles and cracks trying to process something.
Something as far out of her grasp as calculus, her mind continues to run away
from something unnameable.

I do not know why my Chihuahua lies there, shivering and cold. I have asked her.
Many times in fact I’ve asked. But she does not have the words.
Or perhaps she does,
perhaps she knows the weight of the answer would destroy me.

But the hour is drawing near, and whatever secrets she has
she seems intent on taking with her.

Enchanted Blade's Poem

Enchanted Blade
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Jambo rambo tambourine
Please don’t take my jellybean
If you try
I will cry
For my cheese will go awry

-Enchanted Blade, 2018

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A chilling effect is just discouragement without explicit prohibition.
Someone responding poorly to constructive criticism could provide a chilling effect on feedback.
Or people taking comments on a subject out of context could cause a chilling effect on talking about that subject.

The use of chilling effects is one of the most pervasive techniques of controlling groups of people. Because it provides a gray area where rules can be enforced somewhat arbitrarily. But I want to talk about one chilling effect in particular, the effect of having just fucking tons of rules.
There is no one alive today who knows every rule they’ve broken in those ass sucking End User License Agreements.
And if you live in a “country” and don’t live on a floating trash island in international waters like I do there are thousands of federal laws that hold you to all kinds of ridiculous rulings.

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Back in high school, as a little Plib-larva, a friend of mine was complaining about the use of instant replay cameras to overturn referee’s calls. They argued that the occasional subjectiveness of the view from someone in the action was critical to the game. Rules are always applied through someone’s lens, live or on instant replay the call is always going to be somewhat subjective. So why not personify the arbiter? Doesn’t every uncaught penalty provide another layer of drama to the narrative of the game? -They said.

At the time I disagreed. Why even bother having rules if the enforcement can’t be as close to omnipotent? There is no value to subjectiveness, sports should be a rigidly deterministic random number generator with as little humanity as possible, ideally replace them all with robots.

But then I signed my first Non-Disclosure/Freelancer Agreement, these pages on pages clambering for ownership of as much as they could get away with. And I looked at the balding college kid who gave them to me and I thought, “Oh shit, he’s the referee”

There’s million and a half ways I can breach this contract, you don’t actually care if I don’t hurt the project, you’ll look the other way, and you can’t care if you never find out about it.

YOU HEAR THAT ZACH COME AND GET ME BITCH


The world is full of rules saying what you can and can’t do, so it’s safest to just wait until you see someone else do it first, to just give in to the chilling effect and go along like the good boy you are.
Oooph don’t rock the boat too hard you don’t have any idea how many skeletons there are in your closet, probably a lot idk.

The world is full of clay guards, waiting to scare away people who peak tentatively around the corner of originality. Most people are too scared to approach any closer.

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Bear could have fucked that guy up btw



If you don’t know if something is allowed, check who’s willing to try and stop you.

PBnAppend and AutoHotKey

PBn

How does one collect only the freshest, JUICIEST, best videos on the internet?
idk.
But what I can tell you is that if you happen to find one it’s important to be able to find it again. Obviously downloading it would be a good solution, but we’ve reached the point where most videos can hang out on the internet for a few years. And not every single fucking video deserves to be immortalized on my hard drive.
Now you could keep a text file open, copy the url, paste it into the text file, write a description save the file and get back to browsing the internet.

But who has time for that kind of shit?

Here is an easy way to make that simple process super complicated and way cooler.

What is “AutoHotKey”

Autohotkey is a cool program that lets you take ownership of your computer back.
You want your computer to do something no one but you would ever want to do?
FUCKING AWESOME!
AutoHotKey is a really great way of doing it. It’s fairly simple to program in and is super rewarding. Here is a little program I made a year ago that I use almost daily.

PBnAppend.exe


By just pressing f1-f4 the current clipboard will be saved to a file in your documents folder for future tomfoolery (as well as some details to help you remember what the fuck the link is to)

Just download that file, and put it in your startup folder


Press windows key + r



And drag it into the window that pops up

Put Program in Startup Folder


Then just restart (or double click on the fucking program you troglodyte)
And you’re good to go, start saving links for posterity like a champ.


You can right click on youtube videos if you didn't know





Then just press f1 to save it to documents/Videolinks/1.txt

Look at all those great videos I've found today

P.S.
Shitty source if you want it. (you need AutoHotKey to compile it)

PBnAppend.ahk

Change is fucking stupid

PBn

Man, I hate change.

Change is just, the worst.

Here I am being a good capitalist exchanging money for goods and/or services and before I can abscond back home. I get assaulted with these shitty lead weights on my soul.

Just waiting to scratch my cellphone.


You can see the hate and confusion in Roosevelt’s eyes.

'It's an abuse of technology'





TAKE THOSE FUCKING COINS AND THROW THEM IN THE TRASH




I just want a fucking candy bar man.


Even fucking single precision floating point numbers can’t deal with fucking cents. They needed to invent some new fucking decimal math system to deal with their bullshit. There are fucking laws about accounting software just for dealing with fucking pennies.


I use to think the plot to superman 3 was retarded.

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And these are 80s pennies



Coins are the fucking gift cards of the world economy. More just enough hassle to ensure that no one can use them without going way out of their way.

Quarters are okay, they can stay. Arcades had the right idea.

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